Question: How are you feeling right now?
Reply: It`s almost 3pm on Friday, so I`m feeling ok.
Question: Why are you feeling just ok?
Reply: Life decisions are heavy! Now, I know why I may have avoided this question.
Question: How are your plans for departing Japan coming along?
Reply: Last week, I was on top of everything. I was getting things done and feeling very good about myself. Now, I feel overwhelmed and a little lost. I have a ton of things which need to be taken care of in the next 3 weeks, plus I need to come to a decision about my near future life path.
Question: You are making a big deal out of this. You really don`t need to plan out the rest of your life.
Reply: I know I don`t but I definitely feel like I need to make thee decision. I`ve been hesitant about putting my all forward in this area because I know I could get dragged to the slaughterhouse. And I really hate going there.
Reply: I think everyone I`ve talked with or who have expressed their concern about this issue is speaking some type of truth.
Question: I really don`t see why this is a big deal. You simply need to decide if you are going to do what God put you on Earth to do or not. It seems very simple to me.
Reply: The answer to my question is simple. However, behind that answer is a hell of a lot of work, rejection, uncertainty, brown-nosing, and putting myself out there in a way I have never done.
I already know the answer to the question. I`ve known the answer most of my life but I`m just so scared of it. It is very easy to do everything else except what you really want to do because if you mess up the other stuff you aren`t as heavily invested and you still have the dream. If I mess up my dream, what do I have? And I can`t live life without a dream. I`m goal oriented and a commitment-phobic.
Question: I have finally picked up on your commitment issues. You seem to leave everything and almost everyone after 2 or 3 years. What is up with that?
Reply: No comment. This conversation is over.