An Interview with Myself

Question: How are you feeling right now?

Reply: It`s almost 3pm on Friday, so I`m feeling ok.

Question: Why are you feeling just ok?

Reply: Life decisions are heavy! Now, I know why I may have avoided this question.

Question: How are your plans for departing Japan coming along?

Reply: Last week, I was on top of everything. I was getting things done and feeling very good about myself. Now, I feel overwhelmed and a little lost. I have a ton of things which need to be taken care of in the next 3 weeks, plus I need to come to a decision about my near future life path.

Question: You are making a big deal out of this. You really don`t need to plan out the rest of your life.

Reply: I know I don`t but I definitely feel like I need to make thee decision. I`ve been hesitant about putting my all forward in this area because I know I could get dragged to the slaughterhouse. And I really hate going there.

Question: It sounds like Diva Chai was right.

Reply: I think everyone I`ve talked with or who have expressed their concern about this issue is speaking some type of truth.

Question: I really don`t see why this is a big deal. You simply need to decide if you are going to do what God put you on Earth to do or not. It seems very simple to me.

Reply: The answer to my question is simple. However, behind that answer is a hell of a lot of work, rejection, uncertainty, brown-nosing, and putting myself out there in a way I have never done.

I already know the answer to the question. I`ve known the answer most of my life but I`m just so scared of it. It is very easy to do everything else except what you really want to do because if you mess up the other stuff you aren`t as heavily invested and you still have the dream. If I mess up my dream, what do I have? And I can`t live life without a dream. I`m goal oriented and a commitment-phobic.

Question: I have finally picked up on your commitment issues. You seem to leave everything and almost everyone after 2 or 3 years. What is up with that?

Reply: No comment. This conversation is over.

Comments

[ChicagoDiva]

I'd like to comment on your "commitment issues." There is nothing wrong with leaving "everything and almost everyone after 2 or 3 years," because those who are your friends will stay your friends, regardless of distance. Distance is relative--trust me, I'm speaking from personal experience.
You are "racing" with no one but yourself (& your biological clock *wink*). You decide when it's the right time to settle down, when's the right time to go. There is no right or wrong. But like what I've been saying, it's great that we all have the ability to make choices. But of course, that complicates life tenfold. It's ok, take it one step at a time.

We are cousins, we will always be cousins.
You only get to live once as Ms. World so go out there and do what you WANT to do.

[Rversde23]

i'm blushing with the "Diva Chai" shout out. wow. i am a diva?? well, honey, you just made a woman's dream come true! =)

just know, ms. world, the more you keep moving away from whatever your dreams are, the less you are living your life. Rejection, though painful, is fun. Brown-nosing? Well, both you and I got brown noses already, so whatever. And dreams, they only change when you see what reality is. They come better, stronger, and more real (consequently more tangible).

Just reading your work, seeing your pictures, and your determination to explore the world and find a common thread amongst us all, I know that alot of your dreams have come true. And you have so much to fall back on.

Oh, I'm so excited for you!!! Here is to seeing what things may come for all of us. =)

[Wenona]

There is no rush...this isn't the hundred yard dash. I guess life is more like those marathons you've been training for.

The most important think is that you are asking the questions.

[Mama]

You never fail when you live your dreams. They don't always work out the way you pictured it in the dream but they work out for the good according to God's purpose.

Whatever you do remember there is no living without a dream. And the dream can change in an instance.