All About Ms. World's World

The Hardest Thing Ever

Writing a book is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. It is terrifying, amazing, scary, and revealing. It is very hard work. Sometimes I don't know if I'm cut out for the work. However, I owe it to myself to work hard and do my best in trying to complete a rough, rough draft. I know if I don't try to achieve one of my greatest aspirations that I won't be able to respect myself, so I give it the old Black GIRLS RULE try. My plan is to complete a rough, rough draft in the next three months.

While I was waiting for FLICKR to upload my photos!

I stole this from DIVA Sibil but I also saw it on DIVA ANNA's diary.

1. What is your full name? I consider it classified information. However, my first name is Princess Chinita but you can call me Ms. World or Diva if you are nastay!

2. What color pants are you wearing? I only have 3 pair of pants/capri pants. I'm wearing the khaki colored ones because they have pockets.

3. What are you listening to right now? Tribe Called Quest's Check The Rhyme

4. What's the last thing you ate? The Laotian version of pancakes with honey which is similar to fried bread with honey & butter. It cost me 10,000 Laotian kip which is $1USD. I'm addicted to them.

5. Do you wish on stars? YES! I'm that kind of chick!

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black or Red

7. How is the weather right now? Since it finally stopped raining, it is a cool summer's night in Vang Vieng.

8. Last person you talked to on the phone? I talked to Diva Nonnie when I was in Kyoto, Japan about two weeks ago. I'm only calling people on special occasions or if I'm in trouble.

9. Do you like the person who sent you this? Not Applicable.

10. How old are you today? That is also semi classified information. For the record, I'm a happy member of the 30's club.

11. Favorite drink? Mango shakes which I can get in Laos for 5,000 kip or 50cents in American currency. I've already had two of them today.

12. Favorite sport? Traveling.

13. Hair color? Dark brown but looks black

14. Do you wear contacts? I brought some for traveling but I haven't really worn them.

15. Siblings? I have a younger brother. I have two half sisters but they are much younger than I am.

17. Favorite food? My current favorite food is the Laotian version of pancakes and baguettes. However, I'd love some of my mother's soul food!

18. Dream vacation? I'm living it! But I still long to see the south of France.

19. Last movie you watched? I saw Before Sunset when I was in Toyama, Japan. I loved it.

20. Favorite day of year? My birthday is usually a lot of fun.

21. What do you do to vent anger? I blog. I rant & rave. I used to run at the gym. I try not to do any emotional eating though.

22. What was your favorite toy as a child? I was really into books and my Black barbie doll.

23. Summer or winter? I'm a spring and fall kind of gal.

24. Do you want your friends to email back? I don't understand this question. I love for my friends to e-mail but I can be very bad about e-mailing them back.

25. Who is most likely to responds? I'm confused! Cousin Ryumi help me!

27. Living arrangements? I'm currently staying at the MALANY Guest House in Vang Vieng for the next 2 nights. I have no idea where I'll be 2 weeks from now. However, I always consider my mother's residence my home.

28. When was the last time you cried? I have to be very, very upset to cry. I haven't cried in awhile. I should have cried about leaving Japan or being blessed to live my travel dream. I'll probably get upset about something very minor and start crying about everything in my life including the fact that I was called lots of names when I was younger because I was overweight as a kid.

29. What is under your bed? I don't have a permanent bed.

30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? My mother or brother.

31. What did you do last night? I was trying to figure out what country I want to travel to next. I have no permanent travel plans or obligations after my Laos travel visa expires.

32. Favorite smell? Cleanliness, Perfume, or Men.

33. What are you afraid of? Not living up to my potential, having a positive and loving long-term relationship or having a child.

34. Plain, buttered, or salted popcorn? I love butter and people who know me understand this is an understatement.

35. Favorite car? I don't even have a driver's license. I do think the MINI's are cute but not very unpractical.

36. Favorite flower? Orange or Pink DAISIES or tulips

37. Number of keys on your ring? I have the key to my room at the guest house.

38. How many years at your current job? I don't have a job now.

39. Can you juggle? Barely

40. Favorite day of the week? Friday or Saturday

41. What did you do on your last birthday? I threw myself a birthday dinner at CIBO in Toyama City. It was fun!

42. How many states have you lived in? I've lived in New York, New Jersey, Ohio, California, Virginia, and Indiana, so that is 6.

43. How many cities have you lived in? Jersey City, New York City (Brooklyn), Toyama City, Japan, San Francisco, my hometown, London, U.K., and Florence, Italy, so that is 7.

44. How many countries have you lived in? USA, U.K., Italy, and Japan, so that is 4. I still need to live in a Black majority country for a period of time.

45. How many cars have you had? None. I don't know how to drive.

46. What's for dinner tonight? I had a big lunch of pad thai, pancakes, teas, and mango shakes for lunch. I'm not doing dinner but I'll drink some orange juice.

47. If you got one do over in your life what would it be? This is too personal for me to answer because it would reveal all my neurosis. I must have some secrets even in the blogsphere.

48. What religion are you? Born and raised a Christian in the Protestant sect but I'm all over the place. I've decided not to convert to any religion because I think it is pointless because we are all one. However, if I would convert to any religion it would be buddhism.

Graffiti For Bloggers!

    

   

I Got Book Tagged!

I`m now joining some fine company because Diva Sibyl has book tagged me. I think this means I`m an official blogger or web writing professional since illustrious people like Amardeep Singh and Diva Deshigrrrl have posted entries regarding these questions. Here is my Ms. World take on this book tagging animal. 

Total Number of Books I Own

I own over 150 books, maybe more which my mother can attest to since my book collection is in her basement. I have tons of fiction; mostly female, colored people, and non-American writers. I historically don`t read a lot of writing by men. I don`t know why though. I also have a lot of museum catalogs from a previous phase of my life and a number of Let`s Go travel guides.

Last book I bought

Let`s Go- Southeast Asia travel guide. I`m a big fan of Let`s Go because I like their design and layout. (Please note I`m not an `only go where my travel guide tells me` traveler.) I`m really not feeling Lonely Planet`s layout. Rough Guides are geared towards the Brits. Fodor`s is for people who like to shop their way thru foreign places in my view. 

Last book I read

It is Vagabonding which I wrote about in April.

Five books that mean a lot to me

This is difficult. This is only a snapshot.

1. Sassafras, Cypress, and Indigo by Ms. Ntozake Shange

I`m a huge Shange fan because she writes about wild African-American women. The type of Black women that are sometimes called `man-ish` because they do whatever they want to do just like men. Billie Holiday was called this by other Black women.

This book is about three intelligent and adventurous sisters from South Carolina who come of age in the late 1960s and 1970s. They are very different people and end up traveling different paths. I feel like all three sisters represent aspects of myself. However, I think I most resemble the character of Cypress.

I love this book because it was my first time ever meeting adventurous Black women like me who did things they weren`t suppose to do (like run off to San Francisco which I did in my early twenties.) in print. When I hit rock-bottom in San Francisco because my world felt like it had been torn asunder, I read portions of this book (the mother`s letter to Sassafras telling her to come home when she gets pregnant) to make me feel better and give me strength. 

2. Jazz by Ms. Toni Morrison

I learned a few real truths about life, love, and Black American people from this book. The most important truth I garnered from this novel was the idea that if you don`t actively work to shape your life into a mold that is pleasing to you, it can shape itself while you sit on the sidelines due to fear or your life can shaped by other people (This can be good or bad.). I view the main male character, Joe, as a man whose life was shaped by others, namely his wife, Violet. When Joe decided to take an active part in his life, he had an affair and it ended badly for all involved.

I think I`m obsessed with the idea of aggressively shaping my life to please me (hence leaving corporate America to do what makes me joyful) due to my ancestor`s legacy in the slave-owning South. They didn`t have a lot of power in shaping their lives as people who were kidnapped and taken to another part of the world. I can`t forget the hell they went through and I`m making up for it in my life.

3. Anything written by Ms. bell hooks. Thank God for the prolific Ms. hooks! I can testify that Ain`t I A Woman To?: Black Women and Feminism helped me carve out a space for myself as a university student. Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self Recovery helped me realize that my biggest problem in life wasn`t my weight issue but the way I felt and thought about myself.

4.  The Adrian Mole Diaries by Sue Townsend (This is actually a collection of works that compose the Adrian Mole Diaries.)

I love Adrian Mole! I discovered this book when I was a pre-teen in the Midwest longing for the lights and excitement of London. This book taped into all of my unrequited Anglophile lust. Adrian Mole is similar to me but I had/have more self-esteem and things usually work out for me. He is a British boy who is uncool, bookish, and naive. The diaries began when Adrian is 13 3/4 and continue into his thirties. The book made me feel like I wasn`t alone in the teenage wilderness of life.

5. Angry Women by Re/Search Publications

Angry Women is a collection of interviews with interesting and provocative women such as the writer Sapphire, poetess Wanda Coleman, sex activist Susie Bright and Annie Sprinkles, the intellectual powerhouse Ms. bell hooks, and more. I discovered Angry Women at a book shop on Broadway near N.Y.U. when I was in my second year at Sarah Lawrence. I had to buy the book. I read it and was amazed that there were women in the world who had so many different experiences. I was blown away by the stories and journeys being told in the interviews with the various subjects. Angry Women also helped me with my self-esteem issue.

I`m going to book tag my crazy gun-toting Cousin Ryumi, the lovely and inspiring Diva Sista K, the one and only Notorious C.H.I.N., and Diva Saffron (if you have the time).

The Blogging Game

I've had a bizarre 22 hours and I'm tired! I was on my computer blogging, having an interesting and informative dialogue about Black Americans with a fellow blogger via e-mail, and reading blogs for nine hours straight last night. I got online to write my Ms. World's Rules of Blogging Engagement around 7:45pm. I finally signed off my computer around 4am.

As I laid in my bed, my mind began conjuring words and thoughts. I had started composing Scenes From The Reckoning. I was a little possessed, so I got out of my bed, turned on the lights, logged back on my computer and wrote it down in Typepad. I published it and went back to bed. Then I realized that it wasn't as strong as it could be due to some contradictory information. So I got out of my bed again and edited Scenes From The Reckoning. I finally went to bed at 5am.

I had a decent nap. My alarm clock woke me up at 7am. I finally dragged myself out of bed 10 minutes later. My body feels like shit. I know people work two or three jobs take care of children and families but I can't hack it. There was a time in college and grad school when I could pull all-nighters with an abnormal ease. I was a night-own anyway. I guess I'm no longer a night-owl. And I know for sure that I'm not a college kid anymore.

I'm worn out. But honestly, I think my Internet/blogging addiction is wearing me down. I love writing. I love reading. I love being able to read about different people's journeys and the details of their lives which usually make me realize how remarkably similar and radically different we all are. However, I need a break. But I don't want to stop blogging. I love having a forum to express all the thoughts, ideas, and randomness that swims around my mind.

Blogging has helped me learn a little more patience, to debate/dialogue with compassion instead of hatred, and to be bold and speak my truth all the time, even in the reality-based world. These days I'm really calling people out on their shit when it don't sound right, make sense, or match their rhetoric. And it is so empowering.

It is empowering to have a loud voice. It is empowering to have a forum. It is empowering to read the comments of family, friends, strangers, and new blogging friends. We don't have to agree but we can be civil because we are human beings. Unfortunately, I do get very emotional at times. I've read things on weblogs that have made my face light up, had me laughing loudly, brought tears to my eyes out of happiness, hurt, or due to misunderstandings, and that have sent a searing pain throughout my body, and pissed me off to no end.

You gotta love the Blogging Game. However, I need to love myself and go to sleep. I'm taking a hiatus for several days. Are you laughing? I know it isn't even that long so what is the big deal. It is a big deal for me. I love to blog!

Ms. World's Rules of Blogging Engagement

Blogging is a sport, hobby, obsession, and an occupation for a few brave souls that is sweeping across the wired world like Starbucks cafes. This new frontier can be a wild and rough place or a wonderland full of kind, interesting, and crazy characters. The blogsphere is a place where the person with domain, weblog, or URL address rules. All bloggers are masters of their own world. And I think many of them relish this power. But I think that all personal empires real or operating in the blogsphere need  rules of engagement. In the last several months, I've developed my own rules and I thought I'd share them with you.

1. My weblog is my space and I can write whatever I want. Therefore if I want to rant about race in America, sexy Sikhs, the power of filmmaking, my crazy cousins, upcoming world travels, or subject innocent readers to bad poetry, I'm completely within my rights to do so. However, I do believe it is in my spiritual interests not to publish any items out of pure malicious intent. I have my beliefs and opinions which are formed from my life experiences. My beliefs and opinions may be very different from your views but that is not a reason for us to hurl fowl language and abuse at each other in blogland. I really believe the blogspere can be used as an important tool for having constructive discussions and dialogue about complicated topics like international politics, American foreign policy, and class in America. These are conversations that some people may shy away from in real life but are able to engage in behind the computer screen. 

2. If you don't have constructive criticism or a positive word to offer a blogger, don't bother leaving a comment. What is the point of visiting someones weblog and leaving unconstructive negative comments in your wake? Honestly, I don't think posting rude comments on weblogs furthers any debate or discussion. I think the author of the rude comment just looks an asshole. There seems to be a substantial number of a-holes in the blogsphere. Fortunately, there are equal number of angels buzzing around blogland too. I'm really striving to be my highest self in this reality. Therefore I've decided that being nasty and mean just to be nasty and mean is out of the question for me. I want to spread love in the blogsphere. I know that may sound a little odd since I'm the first person to go off on a rant if you make a negative remark about African-Americans. However, they are my people and I will defend them if need be to my death. My loyalty isn't blind but it runs very deep.

3. The anonymous of the blogsphere are anonymous for some reason but they can stay away from my weblog. I'm not feeling people who like to roam around the blogsphere using the "Anonymous" tag. I think I'm anti-anonymous because it is the antithesis of my personality. I don't allow people using the anonymous tag to post comments to my weblog. I also have little patience for people who provide fake e-mail addresses when posting a comment. I am all about spreading love in blogland but I do have my limits.

4. Don't "write all over" another person's weblog, especially if you don't know them in real life or in blogland. If you find yourself writing very, very long comments on another person's weblog, you are "writing all over" it. This is a very difficult rule for me to stick to! I had a horrible habit of "writing all over" the weblog of Professor Singh. However, I do have some discipline so I'm down to writing a few sentences here and there on his weblog. But I "write all over" Cousin Ryumi's weblog and she loves it. I'm also inclined to believe that lucid semi-"writing all over" Mr. Iselfra's weblog wouldn't piss him off too much. The Bengali emperor over at Dark Days Ahead doesn't mind if the politically minded commenters "write all over" his palace either. Divalicious Saffron over at Mouthing The Words is a lover of food, New York City, and lots of chit chat. However, I do believe that "writing all over" someones blog can get out of hand. I believe if you find yourself writing over several long paragraphs in response to a post on another person's weblog then you need to move that conversation to you own darn weblog. And if you don't have a weblog, please visit this website and join our merry blogging fray. If I can have a weblog, then Cousin Ryumi can have a weblog, then anyone can have a weblog.

5. Typepad rules! I know Blogger is free but I couldn't figure it out. Livejournal looks to confusing to me. Typepad costs money but it is easy in my view. It also lets you upload photos easily and ban people!

PLEASE NOTE THESE ARE RULES THAT I, AND ONLY I, AM TRYING TO LIVE BY. I TOTALLY EXPECT EVERYONE TO DO THERE OWN THANG!

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Keith or To Whom It May Concern:

I`m suspicious of people who leave comments on my weblog using a fake e-mail address. Since you didn`t leave a real e-mail address for me to contact you, I see no need to attempt any dialogue with you regarding race or other matters. I also get a sense that you don`t really want a dialogue but some kind of fight. I can throw down with the best of them but I`m not interested. I`m nearing blissland and no one is going to infect me with their bad energy. Therefore it is my weblog, it is my dime, so you are deleted.

All the Best,

Ms. World

Learning To Have Little Shame

I`ve decided in the best interests of my growth and integrity that everything I feel inclined to write about here will stay here, no matter how embarrassed I may feel the day after.

Wise Words from Book Coolie

``Somewhere underneath the theory and history and rotten experience and expectation and resentments there grows life.``  Book Coolie is a blogger who really really likes books!

All about Self Portrait Day!

Those who know me offline and who are getting to know me online may realize that I`m a tad bit self-absorbed but very sweet. I heard about the Self Portrait online project from the Suitable Diva. You know I had to try and join this club because I knew they would love to have me. I`m not in love with the photo I submitted but it met the size requirement. Please take a look at my profile along with other very interesting folks at Self Portrait Day.