Rule Number One- Move! And I did move on Monday, October 23rd. My mother had spent Sunday evening packing bags with the contents of my newly purchased wardrobe. Meanwhile, I was prepping or as the Brits say revising, for an upcoming test. On Monday morning, my mother drove to an airport in the Midwest (located in a neighboring city). Meanwhile, I dozed in and out of sleep when I was attempting to prep for the damn test. By 14:00 hours (military style), I was on my way to a brand new life.
The city I've moved to is on the east coast of the U.S. but it isn't la citta de Nueva York. I can't do New York F*nkin' City anymore. I'm 35 years old and I want to own the place where I lay my head (eventually). And I know that ain't going to happen in the Big Apple.
I have family in this new place that I'm trying to call home. Mia fratello (my brother in Italian) lives here. And I officially have two friends living in the area. I think I'm pretty well-off. I have a theory that a person needs at least one true friend to survive in the world. It is great when you're blessed with lots of good friends but if you have one person whom you are comfortable calling at 3 in the morning, you have a support system.
I came home in early March. I had a family reunion. Then I made myself comfortable and went to bed for the next month. I slept all day, dumbed myself with bad American TV, and sometimes left the house to wander around my hometown. I also enjoyed the tasty of food of my homeland. I basically became Princess of the Slackers.
After a month, slacker-dom was getting a little bit boring. I made a point of visiting local museums, enjoying bargain matinees at the cinema, and reading lots and lots of books and magazines. My mother sent me out to the West Coast to see some old friends. I had a great time in Los Angeles & San Francisco areas.
Now I'm all rested up. I've had the pleasure of spending two holidays (Easter & Memorial Day) with my family. And I'm getting down to business- I'm working on a book project.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY fratello E! I hope you have a rockin' day! Thank you for all the love & support over the years! See you in 2006!
It is Saturday night and I haven`t cried yet. I actually think I may not shed one tear of sadness as I depart Japan on Sunday afternoon. It has been much harder than I expected to say goodbye to Toyama. A few months ago, I was counting down the days and daydreamed of a very happy & welcomed exit from my life as an English teacher. However, I think I was glossing over all the emotional ties and connections I`ve formed in Toyama. It has been much harder than I expected to say my goodbyes. My homegirl, Diva Nonnie has summoned it up best, `It (Toyama) isn`t a place but a moment in time` which you will never experience again. It was a crazy, fun, frustrating, intense, amazing moment in time that I`ll never forget. 
I'm back to slipping pieces of creamy white chocolate in my mouth to calm down the mental gymnastics going on in my head. Early Sunday morning, the little boy in the picture who is now a very grown and successful man threw down the gauntlet.
I know he is only trying to help me but I was teary-eyed and out of breath by the end of our transatlantic conversation. Basically, my brother asked me the question that has been haunting my current international adventures, "What are you going to do when you come back to the U.S.?"
I gave him my usual song and dance. Then my brother did what people with doctorate degrees usually do, he deconstructed and destroyed my argument. I felt my once solid plan turn into sawdust as he asked me rational questions and presented his scenarios of my life. I felt completely lost as he threw a light on my possible realities.
My brother also pointed out a painful truth about me. I'm a fabulous short-term planner but I seem to get lost in wanderlust in the long-term scheme of life. My careers have been a series of short-term plans put into action with an engine of enthusiasm only to fizzle out after 2 or 3 years.
Since my brother loves me very much and wants only the best for me, he offered his support and assistance as he threw down the gauntlet in my tear-stained hands. He sees no reason for me to continue to bounce career to career in avoidance of using the gifts God has bestowed on me.
I know I need to embrace my gifts and use them to reach my highest potential. I know time is flying by at break neck speed as doors of opportunities open and close on me in a blink of an eye. I know what I have to do but why does it seem easier to run from it and do everything else.
I'm at a crossroad in my life. I'm not 25 years old anymore even though I still feel like it sometimes. I can't go back to academia simply because I don't know what else to do with my life. I can try to do what I really want to do in my work life or I can settle.
However, I'm not a settler but I can be weird about certain things. I have let a few dreams die due to fear, personal issues, and neglect. But I have fought like hell to nurture other dreams to fruition, such as my quest to feed and fulfill my wanderlust.
The idea of wasting my God-given talents and watching another dream die is a little too much for me to bare. I guess I know what I have to do but now I need to formulate a medium-term plan for the real world. Now, it is "do or die" Family A. style.
